I’m pleased to be welcoming Simon Yeats back to Novel Kicks and the blog tour for his book, How to Avoid Getting Mugged in Rio de Janeiro by Singing Songs by The Police and Other Lesser Known Travel Tips.

Australian author Simon Yeats, who from an early age learned that the best way to approach the misfortunes of this world is to laugh about it.

Simon shares his comedic insights into the unusual and uproarious elements of living life as an Aussie ex-pat and having a sense of Wanderlust as pervasive as the Bubonic Plague in the 1300s.

From what to do when several people converge to rob you after midnight on a deserted Copacabana Beach, to how to save the Sierra Mountain Range from a wildfire outbreak due to a lack of quality toilet paper, to where not to go in Tijuana when trying to locate the origins to stories of the city’s mythical adult entertainment, to how to save yourself from drowning when caught in a storm while sailing off the California coast.

Simon Yeats has gone into the world and experienced all the out of the ordinary moments for you to sit back and enjoy the experience without the need to lose an eye or damage your liver.

Simon has shared an extract below. We hope you’ll enjoy. 

Content warning: Strong language. 

*****beginning of extract*****

There are some iconic moments in history that, to some of us, were overshadowed by even more weirder events.

If I were to throw out a date, June 17, 1994, nobody would have a clue what I was talking about. If I was to throw out an event, the night OJ Simpson led police on a freeway chase, that rivaled Dohers and I for speed as we moved through the Holiday Inn parking lot after we consumed 50 tacos each, everybody will remember that moment in time.

But I can guarantee that no one else had the same experience I did while watching the events of that day unfold.

For me, the memory could not be any clearer. I am now living and working in Boston. The home of America’s famous insurrection against the British, and the reason I cannot get a decent cup of tea for breakfast at a diner in the USA. Beantown is the city of missed opportunity. For me. I lived here for seven months and the list of fun things that I did not experience while being here is long and distinguished. I did not watch the Head of the Charles rowing regatta. I did not go drinking at a bar near Harvard. I did not watch the Boston Marathon. I did not go to Cheers. I did not go whale watching off Cape Cod. I did not go to historic Fenway Park to watch the Boston Red Sox fail to advance to a Baseball World Series. I did not visit Martha’s Vineyard on Nantucket.

I spent my entire time there pining over Brandi.

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